How to Conquer New and Anxiety-Inducing Experiences

This short article will inspire you to get out of your comfort zone and say yes to invites more often. Let's face it, we have all said no to plans with people because the event sounded frightening for one reason or another and made us nervous. Here's the kicker though; a healthy portion of the time, we are unable to identify exactly what it is that is making us nervous. What most times we reject plans have in common can be summed up by the classic phrase: "fear of the unknown." I am here to inspire you to evolve from that, to having a burning desire and thirst for the unknown!

Take the Form of a Critic

When you are going to try something for the first time, you have to remember that you have every right to not be thrilled/pleased with your experience. The problem that we all have is that we feel a sense of pressure to put on an act where we are pleased with the experience because we do not want to come across as a lame party pooper, which can be anxiety inducing in of itself. This is especially problematic when we are already unsure of if we are going to enjoy ourselves or not. So, try this; imagine yourself as a critic. Your job is to venture into unexplored territory and take it all in. You must explore, observe everything about this place and give an honest review at the end of it all. This is a helpful psychological trick because it lifts the burden of having a good time, regardless of if you really are or not. Be honest and tell it like it is. If you are having a good time, then awesome. If you are not, then that is all good as well! Pat yourself on the back for showing up!

What is the Worst that Could Happen?

This classic question is asked so often for a reason; because by asking yourself this, it makes you realize just how stupid you are for stressing and being worried about trying something new. You can actually try identifying the worst possible things that can happen which will usually end with a series of childish first world problems such as "what if people laugh at me, what if I look stupid, what if I am not as cool as everyone else," and any other negative self talk that falls under this category of irrationality. You can even try to answer these questions if it helps. For example, "what if people laugh at or make fun of me?" can be answered by saying that they are lousy hosts. They invited you to hang out and try something new and they are making you feel unwelcome and self conscious by laughing at and belittling you? That is on them and not yourself. Behaviour such as this will all be taken into consideration in your evaluation of the event as an imaginary critic.

The refreshing part of all of this is that experiences such as these are uncommon and people are usually going to be accepting of you, because they invited you in the first place. They thought to themselves that you (insert your name) being at their event/hangout would improve the atmosphere! That is a compliment in of itself and you must take this into consideration before thinking that everyone is out to get you.

At the end of the day, if your experience becomes so unbearable that you feel sickly (which almost never happens), then you have every right to leave! So, the main idea is that all of these small minded problems and negative self talk jumping around our your thoughts are an illusion, and even if they do come true, you do not have to put up with them.

Two Roads, Pick One

The day has finally arrived. You now have an important decision to make, which will determine whether you end up having a merry or lousy time.

The first and lesser option is that you can go into it with a scared and defensive mindset where you think everyone is out to get you. With this mindset, you fear the unknown and you only like to do things that you do all the time, because there is no fear and uncertainty involved. This is most likely related to the fact that you like to be able to predict and know everything that is going to happen due to experience. You need to let go of this mindset because it is holding you back from getting the most out of your life. You sit there and complain about how you feel lonely and bored all the time, yet you do not want to try new things and meet new people? You're doing it to yourself and I am begging you to get out of your comfort zone.

We Were Once This Happy All The Time

The second and ideal road you must take is one where you bring back your childlike curiosity. Do you remember when you were a little kid and your parents had to always be on the lookout for you because you were always looking to touch something that looked interesting, take something apart, put something in your mouth or wander off into an area that looked new to you? At that age, we had no fear and no negative inner voice. All we knew was that we were new to this world, we did not know why or how we got here, there was so much to see and explore and we wanted to get our hands on it at any opportunity we had. Children have this fearless desire to try new things and take it all in. It is truly inspiring and we must implement this into our adult lives when someone asks us to come and try something new. Just because we are grown up and rational now, it does not mean that we have seen and experienced it all. In fact, I think we have even more to experience and see as we are now able to make our own decisions and go places on our own! Somewhere down the line, we started to get into the habit of overthinking, having negative thoughts and longing for predictability. Why? Probably because predictability is safe and comforting. Do you know what else predictability is, though? Boring.